week one- theatrino!

Well, the saying for this week seemed to be “come on Jah, give us a break” ! ahahah We have had an extremely FULL week. 3 show/3 workshop days, losing the car keys, being locked in the apartment, someone taking our car keys making us drive 25km at 10pm to get them and all of us getting sick on Thursday! Let’s just say it was an extremely eventful week where there wasn’t ever a dull moment.

The shows all went pretty well. We really did hit the ground running, blocking and running things for the first time while on stage during performance! Ahahah It was intense! Learning lines the night before and ho[ping for the best the next day. It has been madness! We get up at 6:30am and go to bed late because when we get home we have to learn lines, blocking, eat and shower! In a way I am glad there wasn’t internet in the Milan flat because it would be a distraction, and we never really had time to go online.

The kids are great though and it’s been really fun performing again and being on stage. When the kids join in singing or cheer or even get excited, it’s such a thrill and just makes me so happy inside! I am loving every minute of it even though I am actually exhausted- physically and mentally. It’s so much to learn and my body seems to be in shock but it’s all really fun and been one heck of an adventure thus far!

I haven’t seen too much of Italy to really report back, it’s mostly been Milan and the surrounding areas so it’s been pretty boring and industrial to be honest. Right now I’m living in the Milan flat with 7 other people and it’s a small space with only one bathroom! Oh the joys! Ahahaha So it’s been fun coordinating showers and washing and teeth brushing times! Ahahaha

Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves but also a bit frustrated as well because of the lack of rehearsal and line learning time. I’m sure once we’re all off book we can relax a bit more and begin to enjoy our time here in bella Italia!

airport - going back for another adventure

me at the Charlotte North Carolina Airport. Listening to tunes, sipping my last Starbucks and bout to surf the web :)

I am sitting at Metro in Detroit waiting for my flight, 3.5 hours early because of the terrorist act last week. Security is supposedly heightened, however, when I dragged my teary eyes through security it seemed the same as it always is… so I’m not sure how I feel about that. Regardless, the supposed “hardest part” is behind me. I said goodbye to everyone I love dearly and it felt as though I was ripping my heart from my chest. I am sitting here with my heart in my stomach. I feel incredibly sick and am wondering why I signed myself up for this 9 month voyage on my own.

I have 3 flights ahead of me and a train ride before I get to San Remo. I left my house at 10:15am Monday morning and will not arrive in San Remo until 7:15pm Tuesday :s . It’s going to be a LONG two days.

As I looked into everyone’s cloudy eyes as they said goodbye, I can’t help but feel guilty. If I had stayed in Windsor, gone back to school and found a job there, I would be stable and wouldn’t have to say goodbye to anyone, or make them feel sad because of me. I cant help the way I feel- but I almost feel selfish because I am hurting the people I love to fulfill my dream. I knew this time it would be much harder to say goodbye, but I never anticipated it to be as difficult as it was. Friends, family, my mom and Alyssa….each one hurt a little bit more and I cant help but wonder, is it worth it!?

“with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave”

I am now completely alone and independent for the duration of 9 months and 2 days. It is incredible, exhilarating, scary, complicated and liberating among many other things. I look forward to the adventure once I have settled in and am more confident in my decision to leave. I just need to get past the point I am at right now where I feel incredibly lonely and sad. Its just going to be one hell of an emotional ride.

Thank you to everyone for your love and support. I am eternally grateful to have you in my life. I know the next few months won’t be easy on any of us, but it is all a learning experience that will make us stronger in the end, and when we say “hello” again in person, it will make all the pain disappear….

living independently...

This week I am living in San Marcello in Toscana. It is an extremely SMALL town in the mountains where everyone knows everyone. Walking down the street everyone greets one another, and, being an outsider, I get a lot of stares because people do not know who I am!

Let me count the ways in which I love this town…

There are 3 tutors because it is a small town. Mark, Sara and myself. Our house families are all friends, and their children (our house brothers and sisters) are the same age and are friends. Everyday after camp we go to the gelatteria all together and get a gelato. Then, we usually go for a walk and head back to our homes which are all within a 2 minute walk of each other. We are forming such a strong bond with the house siblings and the tutors very quickly. I am thoroughly enjoying my time with them after camp.

The families are amazing! They’ve organized things for every night! Monday we all went to Marks house to hang out. Tuesday night Mark and Sara came to my place after dinner to watch a movie, tonight we’re all going to Pizza with the families and camp directors, tomorrow we’re going to a Medieval Festival in a nearby town, and Friday we’re going to Pistoia! It’s an action packed week. I basically only have time to shower, eat and hang out! There isn’t really any spare time which is kind of crappy because I haven’t been lesson planning as much, but at the stage I am so content that Im not too preoccupied about it.

The town is amazing. Everywhere you look there are mountains. The school is on a hill and the outside area overlooks the town and the mountains. It’s like a picture perfect town where you could snap a shot anywhere and it would look like a postcard. This is the first small town I’ve been to and I am so happy here. It’s quaint and cute, the main Piazza looks like something from a Disney Theme Park with the buildings, bar’s and little fountain in the middle. Very cute!

For the first time I am living on my own! I have the whole upstairs on a house to myself. The Nonno lives downstairs but he is quiet and keeps to himself. I only see him at dinnertime. Actually, he left today for a few days so I have the house to myself until Thursday evening! Not too shabby. I’m only ever alone at night before bed so it isn’t too bad. I do feel like an adult though, I cook myself breakfast, do my laundry and hang it to dry. Feels like I am living on my own hehehe

So far I love this town! I don’t leave until Sunday for Belluno so I am excited to see what the family has planned for me on Saturday! It is Ferragosto so it is a big holiday but I hope they do something with me. Take me to Lucca or Florence or something!? Stay tuned and I will keep you posted….

nostalgia for the world I live in...

I am sitting here in a lovely family room in Calcio Bergamo, Italy. A little over a month left and my adventure is coming to an end. I cannot believe that I can see the Windsor light…. It came so quickly and I am sad to think my time is almost over. Being in Italy has taught me so much already. I have been so fortunate in my experiences, with Italian families, the scenery, fellow tutors and camp directors, and of course, the children.

This has been an adventure to remember. Looking at pictures from Paris which wasn’t long ago, I feel like it was a dream. Someone else’s life. I feel like I am living some else’s life everyday actually. The role of a lifetime doesn’t usually come my way. However, I sought out this role and am so glad I had the courage to leave behind a life I adored for ¼ of a year. Leaving behind family, friends, a boyfriend, work and comfort was extremely difficult for me. I always wanted to travel and see the world, but when it came down to it, I feared I was more of a talker than a doer. Turns out, I am a doer and want to continue this life. As many of you know I am going to audition for Theatrino which is an acting troupe based out of the same company I am working for now. They travel in groups of 3 to different schools all over the country doing hour shows in English, promoting the English language. It would be a great opportunity and I am so happy for all the support I am receiving from the people in my life about persuing this goal. I would be gone for 6-8 months, and only home for about 3.5 before I would leave again. It’s a big step but I know I am ready to take it. Unfortunately, I’ll have had to make sacrifices if I get accepted, and that isn’t easy either. Letting go of people I loved is never easy, and I wish life could just work out amazingly. Unfortunately, life never works out how we want it to. But we plan and hope for the best regardless. I am trying to take things day by day and deal with the circumstances right in front of me instead of trying to conquer the world.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is a life. So I am taking this opportunity to explore the European life as much as possible before I return to the life I know and love. The way of life here is so different. Laid back and positive. People work hard and enjoy their days off but its just different. Everything is no problem and people genuinely seem to care about one another. The language is beautiful and even though there are days where my brain is exhausted from translating, I am still in love with it.

So here’s to Europe- the adventure of a lifetime, the adventure I love, the adventure I wish to continue in the near future!

an ode to Gramma...

Some say Death is the next big adventure after life. I’d really like to believe that, but unfortunately I don’t know what life holds for us after we pass. The reason I ponder this tonight is because my grandmother passed away this morning. She had been sick for sometime and before I left for Europe, visiting her deep down I knew it would be the last time I would see her alive. However, I don’t think you can ever fully prepare yourself to lose someone you love.

The call came around 6:45pm from Brad. Initially when I heard his voice I thought it was a call to say hey and to talk. I was very happy to hear the familiarity on the other end of the phone. My excitement quickly vanished as the words rolled out of his mouth “I don’t know if you’ve heard….”. And I hadn’t. I hadn’t checked my emails and my dad never called. Naturally, my heart hit a jolt and I wasn’t sure how to react. Crying didn’t seem appropriate at the time because I wanted as many details as I could get from him. Turns out she has been at home since the beginning of June which is good because she wanted to pass at home. In the last week however she hadn’t been taking any meds and was in excruciating pain. My heart goes out to her. I believe she wanted to die to be with my Papa. Even after 22 years she still missed him very much and wanted to be with him.

Now the chaos begins. I am not home for the funeral arrangements which is extremely hard for me. I feel as if it will be something that will be hung over my head for years to come from my Uncle and Dad. Unfortunately, being in Italy it isn’t possible for me right now. I only hope they understand and know that I am thinking of them constantly. Mourning in a different way, although my presence won’t be there, I am still in pain and affected.

We are such selfish people. When someone dies, instead of rejoicing for their happiness onto a better place, we only think of ourselves and the pain we are going through. I am trying to hard to cling to fact that she is no longer suffering and is where SHE wants to be. Even though the void seems to grow deeper with each passing letter I type. The keyboard is actually becoming hard to see because the tears welled in my eyes. Death is never easy, for those left behind there are memories forever burned into our imagination and we must hold tight to them. Never losing sight of the times we shared with these special people and the bonds we formed. She will forever be my Gramma and I have nothing but admiration and great things to say about her. My memories are all fond and filled with fun and laughter, specific smells Sunday phone calls and delicious foods. Feeding DeeDee dog biscuits and the hot tar in the summer.

I have never known anyone like her and never will. Death is a part of life, whether we want it or not.

I love you Gramma. I always will. You taught me a lot growing up and I thank you for being you. May you rest in peace now and always.

You will never be forgotten.

vineyard bike ride

What started out as a lovely bike ride turned into a hill climb from hell! First of all, let me state that I do not remember the last time I rode a bike. It’s probably been 6 years at least! Needless to say when I first started, I was a bit wobbly! It was highly embarrassing pedaling down the main street trying to keep my balance and drive in a straight line. After about a minute I got the hang of it again though! Thankfully! Hahaha I also feared for my life on some of the streets because I wasn’t completely confident and cars come extremely close!

The school we work at is on a hill, so I wanted to see what was on the other side of the hill. I had no idea how much farther uphill I would have to pedal past the school, but I didn’t think it would be as far as it was! The climb really started to burn in my legs so I got off the bike and began walking up the hill. Holy hell was I sweating! Sweating like 10 men and I was in pain. However, this was about 15 minutes into the climb and I could see what looked like the top of the hill so I kept on trekking. Needless to say, I made it to the top, and was glad I put in the sweat. The view was gorgeous! I didn’t want to stop on the side of the road so I kept peddling and found a vineyard on the side of the road. There was a little open area so I sat there. The vines were growing behind me, directly in front of me was a house with a huge yard and farther on all I could see were vineyards, trees and open land. To my left was the real sight! The downward slope of the hill, open fields, random homes, and in the farther distance, mountains! Mountains that were as far as my eye could see. It was such a tranquil place. The occasional car or vespa passed, but the only other noise was that of the tree frogs. I had my ipod and played some “think” tunes, just enjoying and soaking it all up with me eyes. I couldn’t believe such a beautiful place existed in San Colombano, it’s so flat and very much like Windsor. But a 25 minute bike ride away is a gorgeous view! If I have the courage to make the trip again this week I will def bring my camera. I doubt pictures will capture what I am seeing but I will try my best. Maybe I will do a little video. The bike ride back was a breeze, literally, I hardly had to pedal because it was mostly downhill ! A gorgeous afternoon.

a tale of star crossed lovers

So, I went to Verona for the weekend and fell in love. I actually didn’t think Verona existed and was pleasantly surprised to find it did exist and is actually known as “Little Rome”.

We bought our tickets the morning of, and online it said we transferred in Milano Central Station. So, we go to Milano, just chatting on the train not paying attention, and we go to find our binario but cannot find the train number… WELL! I look at the ticket and see we were supposed to get off at Milano Lambrate. There was a train leaving from Central but it wasn’t a regional train and we could have gotten heavily fined. So, we decided to hop on a train to Lambrate and pray they didn’t look at our tickets. Being a 5 minute train ride we thought we would be safe. We didn’t even sit down, just stood in between cars and thankfully got off at Lambrate and didn’t miss our train to Verona! So, we were on our way in a nice air conditioned car.

From the moment we arrived I loved it. The main Piazza is lined with restaurants on the left hand side. On the right is a mini park with a fountain, benches trees and a statue of Vittorio Emanuelle II. Behind that is the Arena (mini colosseum) and the the shopping district. We walked around for a while trying to find our hostel. I decided to start asking people and we eventually found it, right in the middle of the shopping district! Perfect location!

The hostel was great. Cheap, only 25euro each. In a nice area, very clean and the room was huge for 3 people! The only thing was we had to share a bathroom with everyone else but, it was clean and I didn’t mind. The only issue I had was the heat. There wasn’t a fan, and the little window didn’t let in any air. We all woke up wet! It was honestly like I just had a shower. Disgusting, I know! You’d think after 9 weeks in heat I would be used to it but I still am not used to the fact that I am ALWAYS sweating, and never feel clean. Ah the joys of Europe!

So anyways, back to Verona! We began by having some lunch. Pizza Please! Then set out on the journey towards Juliet’s house. We found it no problem. The infamous graffiti wall was there. I brought a paint marker for the occasion and we all signed the wall. It was glorious! After the wall you walked into a courtyard complete with Juliet’s bronze statue and her balcony! Clare and I paid the 6 euro to go inside her house which was basically a modern art exibit by a local artist. It was cool because we could stand on the balcony, and there was a replica of her room from the original film version of the story. As well there were the original costumes the actors wore in the movie. I was very excited by this and actually felt like I was walking back in time and looking at what could have been Juliet’s room. Once we were done we went into the little gift shop and I bought some overpriced souvenirs. Overpriced became the phrase of the weekend! Everything was ridiculous. I went to ask how to get to Romeo’s house when James came up to us and said “someone give me your camera quick” and he took off. Once we found him it was incredible – he was back in Juliet’s courtyard where there were two actors acting out the famous balcony scene. Once that was done we were invited up for a free show. They acted out 3 famous scenes from the play in Italian. I was in 7^th heaven and got goose bumps and choked up on more than one occasion during the show. I was watching Romeo and Juliet in Italy, at Juliet’s house in Verona. I could not have been more lucky. After the show I asked if I could take a picture with the actor playing Romeo and he said my Italian was beautiful! I was just on such a high after that for a few hours! Not to mention he was gorgeous! The most beautiful Italian I have seen thus far in my opinion.

We tried to find Romeo’s house but failed. It looked like it was going to start to rain so we opted to climb the tower to see the view of Verona. BEEEEEUTIFUL! I only wish my camera could capture what my eyes saw.

We did a bit of shopping and had a lovely dinner than did a nice roundabout of the city in search of a disco. Needless to say we didn’t find one, but we did walk to the Castle and got to appreciate it at night and go for a nice walk around the city. The Arena was a site to see all lit up. James brought a cigar so we sat by the fountain and he smoked it. I was feeling fun so I tried it as well. I didn’t like it though. I love the smell, but the taste, not so much! So that was basically our first day. We finished off at a pub just chillin and talking.

Sunday we had to be out by 10 so we woke up early and went on our merry way. On our way to find a café for breakfast we passed a grocery store so we went in. Bought some Nutella, bread, water and fruit for 5 euro! We took our gourmet breakfast to the Castle and ate overlooking the river, castle and mountains. Beautiful start to the day! We did some exploring at the castle and ended up at a park. We were all exhausted so we took a nap on benches for an hour to the sounds of the wind and tree frogs. Not too shabby! We then had lunch, did a bit more shopping, grabbed our stuff (the hostel let us keep our bags there) and were on our way to an Internet café for James. He needed to tie up some loose ends for the beginning of his 3 week solo tour of Europe. We ended up taking the long way back to the station and walked with our stuff in the intense heat for about 45 minutes. Nice little tour of the residential area of Verona! Before I knew it I was on a train ride back to San Colombano for another week of camp!