airport - going back for another adventure

me at the Charlotte North Carolina Airport. Listening to tunes, sipping my last Starbucks and bout to surf the web :)

I am sitting at Metro in Detroit waiting for my flight, 3.5 hours early because of the terrorist act last week. Security is supposedly heightened, however, when I dragged my teary eyes through security it seemed the same as it always is… so I’m not sure how I feel about that. Regardless, the supposed “hardest part” is behind me. I said goodbye to everyone I love dearly and it felt as though I was ripping my heart from my chest. I am sitting here with my heart in my stomach. I feel incredibly sick and am wondering why I signed myself up for this 9 month voyage on my own.

I have 3 flights ahead of me and a train ride before I get to San Remo. I left my house at 10:15am Monday morning and will not arrive in San Remo until 7:15pm Tuesday :s . It’s going to be a LONG two days.

As I looked into everyone’s cloudy eyes as they said goodbye, I can’t help but feel guilty. If I had stayed in Windsor, gone back to school and found a job there, I would be stable and wouldn’t have to say goodbye to anyone, or make them feel sad because of me. I cant help the way I feel- but I almost feel selfish because I am hurting the people I love to fulfill my dream. I knew this time it would be much harder to say goodbye, but I never anticipated it to be as difficult as it was. Friends, family, my mom and Alyssa….each one hurt a little bit more and I cant help but wonder, is it worth it!?

“with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave”

I am now completely alone and independent for the duration of 9 months and 2 days. It is incredible, exhilarating, scary, complicated and liberating among many other things. I look forward to the adventure once I have settled in and am more confident in my decision to leave. I just need to get past the point I am at right now where I feel incredibly lonely and sad. Its just going to be one hell of an emotional ride.

Thank you to everyone for your love and support. I am eternally grateful to have you in my life. I know the next few months won’t be easy on any of us, but it is all a learning experience that will make us stronger in the end, and when we say “hello” again in person, it will make all the pain disappear….